The Haircut
by Tawa bids you good day
Summary: Molly Weasley snaps and decides to do something about Sirius' hair. 'nuff said


I love ficlets *warm, fuzzy feeling*. I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to him. If I did I'd be rich. I would pay millions to own Sirius Black! But I don't have millions.  
  
I would like to know - WHY isn't Molly Weasley listed as one of the characters on Fanfic? Grrrr!  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, what can I say here? Haircuts are fun. Read and see the madness unfold.  
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Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and a small group of Weasley's were helping a delighted Sirius lather the old house in Christmas Decorations. The latter was merrily singing what seemed to be every carol any of them had ever heard, and a few they hadn't; but Ron and the others were rather too worried about Harry, upstairs in his self-isolation since what they had overheard at St Mungo's, to join in.  
  
It was still early in the morning when Ginny suddenly yelled, "Sirius! Stop! Don't move!"  
  
Instantly everyone in the room was frozen still, eyes darting around to find the source of the sudden alarm. They wondered if Ginny had spotted some dark intruder or if there was some more sinister reason.  
  
"Don't budge an inch," the girl repeated. She carefully edged towards the mantelpiece and pulled down a jar full of Christmas Mints that Lupin had brought over. Emptying the mints on a nearby chair, she held the jar in one hand and the lid in the other and shuffled towards the motionless Sirius, "stay very still. Bend down a bit."  
  
Sirius did as instructed with a slight look of confusion. Ginny reached up with the jar, then lunged at Sirius' head. Her wrist gave a flick, a tiny screech echoed through the quiet room, and Ginny slammed the lid onto the jar. Inside was a furious black Doxy, which pounded on the glass with its minute fists and fluttered its wings maniacally.  
  
"It was in your hair," the girl shuddered, not bothering to hide the disgust in her voice, "hiding in your hair! You could barely even see it!"  
  
"We must have missed it when we were cleaning," George laughed, tapping the side of the jar. Sirius ran his hand through his thick, black hair as if checking for more mischievous creatures.  
  
"Oh, that is the last straw," Mrs Weasley growled.  
  
"What is?" Ron asked.  
  
"Your hair," his mother was looking at Sirius, "something has to be done about your hair! Doxies! Next we'll have Bundimuns or Manticores.or.or.goodness knows what!" she wailed, "I'm sorry, Sirius, but it won't do."  
  
"Molly, be serious, it was just a fairy," Sirius said, running his hand through his hair again as if worried Mrs Weasley would leap forward and tear it out. But half way down his fingers became entangled in the snarled strands and he had to tug them free, "but really, I'm perfectly happy with it."  
  
"Well I'm not," Mrs Weasley grimaced, "just let me wash and brush it. Nothing tremendous."  
  
Sirius continued to protest, but Molly had already pulled out her wand and summoned a comb from the bathroom.  
  
"OW!" yelled Sirius as Mrs Weasley grabbed the back of his hair and tugged, forcing the taller man down to her level. She tried to run the comb through the ends of Sirius' hair, but the teeth of the comb began to snap off and she threw it away in disgust.  
  
"Ginny, be a dear and start running warm water in the basin," she motioned to her daughter and Ginny grinned and dashed off. Still leading Sirius by the hair, Molly trotted after her, and Fred, George and Ron, trying to hold back giggles, followed them.  
  
"Really, Molly this isn't necessary-" Sirius began, but was cut off as the determined mother pushed his head down under the water and began rubbing his hair until it was thoroughly soaked. She let go for a moment to summon a bottle of "Filth Banishing" shampoo, and Sirius straightened up with a snap, gasping for air and spraying drops of water across the room.  
  
"Hold still," Mrs Weasley commanded, draping a towel over his already saturated shoulders and squirting a dollop of cream-coloured shampoo, which smelled strongly of peaches. The rest of the Weasleys sat on the edge of the bathtub chuckling as their mother mashed the soap into Sirius' knotted locks then dunked his head again and again into the warm water.  
  
"There's no need to overdo it, Mum," said Ron, trying not to think of what Harry would say if he cheered up only to find Molly Weasley had drowned his godfather in the bathroom sink.  
  
Three more rounds of shampooing and rinsing and Mrs Weasley had to concede that Sirius' hair was not going to get any cleaner. It did not seem possible for there to be so much dirt on one head; the water had practically turned to mud, even though the basin had been emptied and refilled twice already.  
  
"At least you haven't got lice," Mrs Weasley said cheerfully as she dragged her charge (still by the hair) back into the living room and forced him down into the nearest chair (after brushing mints off it). She took a large, fluffy towel out of Ron's arms and began rubbing it into Sirius' hair furiously.  
  
"You're making it worse!"  
  
"Not I'm not."  
  
"Yes you are! It's going to be nothing but frizz."  
  
"There must be a spell for this, Mum."  
  
"For goodness sake, its going to be fine."  
  
"How would you like to be bald, Sirius? Because at the rate she's going I think Mum is gonna have to shave your hair off completely. Unless you want an afro."  
  
"That's a great idea, Fred! Hey Mum, give him an afro!"  
  
"No, Ginny."  
  
"Yeah, awesome!"  
  
"No, Ron."  
  
"Aw, please?"  
  
"NO Sirius!"  
  
"Only joking, Molly."  
  
Finally Mrs Weasley sighed and banished the towel back to the backroom with her wand. Sirius' hair was not exactly at afro level but it was certainly frizzier then it had been before. And cleaner, to tell the truth.  
  
"Someone get me three combs, my fine scissors, and the strongest hair brush you can find. This isn't going to be easy."  
  
"Scissors!" cried Sirius, "oh no! You're not cutting it off!"  
  
"Only the knots that won't come out," Molly soothed, "the hopeless bits."  
  
And then Mrs Weasley was attacking the tangles like you-know-who himself was behind them. One comb did not survive the experience, the second two were critically injured and took several spells to repair, and the brush was so entwined with hair it would probably never be the same. The scissors, however, were having a great time - and so, apparently was Mrs Weasley.  
  
"There's a lot of hair on the ground, Molly."  
  
Mrs Weasley didn't answer.  
  
"How much are you cutting off? Look, there goes another bit. OW!"  
  
"Don't distract me, this takes concentration."  
  
"My head feels a lot lighter OW! then it did ten minutes ago. OW!"  
  
"It's dry now."  
  
"Are you sure you're only cutting off the really bad tangles?"  
  
The boys had been coming and going during the event, although Ginny had stayed to watch the whole thing. But all four of them were present when Mrs Weasley stood back and said, "there. All done. You look a hundred times better."  
  
Ginny burst into uncontrollable laughter.  
  
"What.?" Sirius' face fell. He slowly raised his hand to his head, but stopped a few inches short, as if afraid to find out what the Weasley Mother had done to him.  
  
"Someone get me a mirror."  
  
"Now, don't be silly, there's no need for a mirror. Besides, any mirror in this house is likely to bite your hand off as soon as show you your face."  
  
"GET ME A MIRROR!"  
  
George pulled from behind his back a large wall mirror the twins must have filched from upstairs and presented it to Sirius with grins on their faces.  
  
"My.my.my hair."  
  
The thick black tangles were gone. Mrs Weasley had cut Sirius' hair down to less then an inch all over. The floor was thick with clippings, and the man looked like he was close to fainting.  
  
From the doorway, Kreacher the house elf gave a cruel and slightly mad giggle.  
  
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Hermione arrived at about six o'clock that evening. Mrs Black began screaming again, but Ginny and the Twins had to pull the curtains over her because Sirius had refused to go near the portrait, least it notice his disfigurement and add its own abuse to the list of taunts Fred and George had already pelted at him.  
  
Hermione met him in the kitchen, moping over a Butterbeer, and had to fight hard to surpress a giggle. Ron came in and gave a solemn nod as if mourning the fallen hair.  
  
"It really doesn't look that bad," Hermione said to Sirius.  
  
"Ah, don't lie. I don't think I'll be able to go out in public for years," he replied, staring at the label of the bottle. Hermione didn't like to point out that Sirius was not allowed out in public anyway.  
  
"But, its more then that, isn't it?" said Ron, and he gave a cheery laugh.  
  
Hermione nodded, "you don't want Harry to see it, right?"  
  
Sirius looked up at her dejectedly, "well, I don't want anyone to see it really."  
  
"Look, come with me," Hermione said. She went around the table, took Sirius by the elbow and led him out of the room. Ron finished off the Butterbeer while he waited for her to return. When she did, he looked at her quizzically.  
  
"We have to go see Harry," Hermione said firmly, ignoring Ron's questioning eyes, "I think we need a talk with him."  
  
"What did you do with Sirius?" Ron asked.  
  
"Hmm? Oh nothing, nothing," Hermione said, but as Ron got up and followed her out, she whispered, "just recommended a few instant-hair-growing charms."  
  
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It's done! Happiness for me! Please review! I'm desperate here. Really. Pleeeeeese? puppy dog eyesGrim dog eyes  
  
Hobbits: ARGH! EVIL SCARY DOG! 


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